


Long before the days of no surrender...

by Kami_no_Qraz



Series: Qraz Bingo Challenge [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, During Age of Ultron, Hurt/Comfort, Jarvis POV, Jarvis last toughts, Just a hint of, Other, POV Second Person, Protective Jarvis (Iron Man movies), Rhodey/Tony - Freeform, a very large spam of time in very few words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 07:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kami_no_Qraz/pseuds/Kami_no_Qraz
Summary: There´s a lot of things that people could say about you...But then, nobody really knows you.





	Long before the days of no surrender...

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first entry to the bingo, yeah, I know, a little bit late, but well, real life, college, and a lot of that boring stuff. 
> 
> This is for the square S1 outsider Pov! 
> 
> And, like with all my works, the inspiration for this fic came of this song: LP Lost on you. 
> 
> Sorry for any grammatical, spelling, or any kind of error, English is not first language

The first time that you did something incredible, you were only three years old, and still, with only scrapes of your father workshop, created something beautiful, to make her smile.

She didn´t.

She only looked at you as if for the first time she could see that you were your father-son that you and Howard shared blood, intelligence, and in a cruel joke of destiny, the same look.

She didn´t come back as often after that.

It wasn’t because you were a bad person Sir. Oh no, Maria loved you very much, but at the time her fear of Howard started to took a hold on her, and she couldn´t bear to remember that her sweet little boy will probably grow up to be like Howard.

One big monster.

But then, she didn´t knew the pain her distance caused you. After that first and last contact with your mother, you choose to keep all your experiments a secret, all your creations only to be seen by your eyes.

All your childhood passed in that way, in a little corner of your room, trying to be quiet, the least bothersome possible, sometimes when you were with a butler, the world didn´t look like a bad place. It seemed brighter, more open, and more joyous.

And, when you turned fourteen came the opportunity to leave the house, that horrendous mausoleum that was a horrible place in your imagination. That opportunity presented itself in the form of a letter. MIT, the best school for engineering, and they accepted you, even if you were a lot younger, and with much less experience in life.

You were so happy, even if only for a moment.

At first you tough that no university would accept you, or if they accepted you, your father won’t let you attend the curses that you wanted.  
But then, sometimes live gave you good surprises, as if trying to pay up for all the suffering that you were expecting.

So when the letters arrived your father gave you a curt nod and a pat on the shoulder.

MIT was your future.

MIT, the key to your freedom.

You knew that a lot of people will try to come close to you, for your father money, fame, for a chance to be able to say “I was close to the Stark heir”.

There was no doubt about that, but, when people started to treat you like a spoiled rich little brat, a playboy (at your 14 years; when the closest to have sex was when your father started to bring this conquest to the house, and one of them tough that maybe having two Starks was a good idea), a genius, walking tireless toward a new age of weapons design.

Nobody expected you to be… just you a kid trying to make the best of a strange situation.

At least, no one appeared to expect that, until…until your best friend.

James Rhodes.

With his no shit attitude, his expressive eyes, and soft voice.

You were gone at the first sign of caring.

And thanks to all deities, he was just as gone as you.

There were a lot of discussions of physics, late night conversations, all so different that sometimes you don’t remember some of them after, there were quiet mornings with breakfast of cereal and milk, pressed to each other on the couch, in front of a really tiny TV.

You wanted to change it.

Rhodey didn´t.

He said, “No tones, I can barely keep up with school, extracurricular activities, and you, I don´t need another distraction”.

And for the first time in your life, you listened and kept that tiny TV, but of course, you wouldn´t be you if at least tried to improve it.

By the end of the year, your tiny TV had the best definition, sound system, and the best materials.

James Rhodes became your rock. The thing that kept you going even in the worst times of your life.

He was there when you had your first heartbreak. He held you and let you cry, for him, at that moment, there was nothing more important than you.

He was there when you started to construct DUMMY watching how you didn´t slept, eat or drank another thing than coffee, and then at the third day, you woke up in your bed, with a little bit of headache.

Rhodey knowing you well, knew that if he wanted to stop you, it had to be by force.

So… he drugged you.

That lends you to your first fight, complete with screams, swearing, and a broken nose.

After there was a period of silence, when none of you knew what to say or do to make things right, but then, when you thought “this is how it ends” he came back, apologized, and promised to never do something like that again.

And he kept his promise.

Rhodey was there the day your parents died, was there to see how you lost yourself to the drugs, alcohol, and sex, and more importantly, he was there to pick up all your pieces and try to bring them back together.

MIT was one of the most important moments in your life, but it wasn’t the one that defined you.

Sir, if there´s anything to say about you, it´s the way in which all the terrible things that happened, all the pain, the betrayal, the soul-crushing agony, marked you, but didn´t make you cold, didn´t make you uncaring, didn´t make you unforgiving.

Even after torture, pain, and loss, you are still one of the most wonderful persons in the world.

When you were lost in the desert, many things changed, for you and for the world.

Rhodes was lost, Pepper desperate, and Obadiah, he was “grieving”.

The three most important people in your life.

And only two deserved the title.

Pepper earned her upon hard work, a no-nonsense attitude… and a little bit of filtration and winked eyes.

If I have to say the truth, you were always weak for intelligent women that knew how to make you happy without the alcohol or the drugs, which were good conversationalist or knew all about the semantics of weapons.

She was one of the things that kept you going the time on captivity, where you lost your heart, but regained one, in a different form.

Later, when you were safe in the sanctuary of your workshop, you would talk out loud and remember the kind eyes of Yinsen, the way in which his hands shook a little, how he smiled when you told him your plans, and how you failed to save him, how scared you were, your worst fear was that things would develop that way, leaving you alone, failing to save the people important to you.

Many of those nights in your workshop, the only sound was your elaborated breathing and muffled sobs.

But let´s remember when Rhodney found you, dehydrated, with sunburn, and a car battery still pegged to your chest. When he found you, you thought, I´m safe in a loop, you were finally safe, safe with one of your favorites.

And then you were home, trying to work of the sense of all the things that you lived.

You couldn´t stop thinking about weapons, those weapons changed everything. When you saw the logo, the guilt, the pain appeared almost instantly. It was your fault, all the death, devastation, and lost opportunities.

So of course, you had to do something.

Anything to help, to change the way in which the world saw you, the way you watched yourself.

Ironman was born out of desperation. And you changed the game again.

Superheroes were real, and you were one of them.

A lot of stuff happened since then, the Avengers, the mandarin.

Kilian.

Extremis.

And still, after so many loss, so many punches, so many harsh words, you were still fighting.

But then, Ultron came.

Sir, these are my last thoughts, I don´t know how much time I have or if they will reach you, but I hope, that in my new form, even when my last line of code it´s broken and erased, battered beyond salvation, that my new consciousness will know the truth.

That you are perfect and beautiful and I loved you.

I loved you as much as I could, as long as I could, and I´m not sorry to die protecting you.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this little piece don´t hesitate to leave a comment!


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